BE POSITIVE LALA!

I need a giant banner that says that somewhere in the house.

Oh or maybe someone who shoves a sign in my face with those words on it whenever I start to whine.

I left our house on surgery day at 263. Then I lost 6 lbs. and now, again, I weigh 263.

I don't think 800 calories is enough. I think it is messing everything up.

Yesterday the babymama (affectionate name for my Stepsons Mom) asked us to pick him up at his bus stop after school because she had plans and it was our day to have him anyway. So we did, but she showed up anyway to kiss him goodbye etc. She came to our car and shoved a bunch of drawings, cards and laminated artwork that he had made into my open window -

"OH LOOK! S MADE ALL OF THIS STUFF FOR MEEEEE FOR MOTHER'S DAY!! ISN'T IT CUTE!! NOW GIVE IT BACK"

Fun times. I would not be lying to say that I either wanted to punch someone or start crying when she did that. You would "think" that schools would make Mother's day stuff for Stepmothers, but they don't. I've met my stepson's teacher. She knows he has a stepmother. But again, It doesn't count. I don't count.

I did eat some yogurt today which I realize was a bad idea - only 5 grams of protein. duh. and now I can't get any protein shake down.

My Dad called me and told me we are going to my Mom's favorite breakfast restaurant tomorrow for Mother's day. I love that place too, and I'm just MAD that I won't be able to order anything because really - why would I pay for a meal when I can't eat it? and everyone around me will be eating Hawaiian Pancakes and Oatmeal Cookie pancakes, and Denver Omelets and Bacon, and Strawberry Cheesecake French toast and WAFFLES and Cinnamon Rolls and Biscuits and Gravy and sausage and Hash Browns. Depressing. Positive note: they do have good coffee. Maybe I'll have a cup of that. sigh.

and kind of mad that I didn't meet my goal of 25 lbs lost by the 11th. I guess that was a stupid goal. I'm still going to go see Dark Shadows because Johnny Depp is my boyfriend and Tim Burton (director of movie) is too. mmmmmmmmmmm. I can't wait. Just me, my hubby and a propel zero. and no popcorn. wah.

and edited to add: I hate Mother's day. I hate that every single craft or art project I do with my Stepson (where I've provided the supplies etc) he makes for his Mom or his Grandma's. He will not make anything for me or My Mom. I hate that I've spent at least the last 15 years of my life daydreaming of the day when my husband and kid/s would come bounding into my bedroom on Mother's day with breakfast in bed and other stupid Hallmark sentimental crap. I give up.