Wednesday, May 30, 2012

WTF Wednesday

It’s time for WTF Wednesday where we list anything and everything that makes us want to scream WTF!! Copy the badge above and paste to your own blog if you want to join in the fun!

- My day? UGGGGG!

- I usually love love love my job, but yesterday I had a new client lie to my face (and on the contract too). I was livid for the rest of the day. In this day and age, with google and Fa.cebook and crap - do not LIE TO ME! I will find out!!!

- and today I am in a client conflict that is partly my fault that will require a refund that I can't do. As I used the income to pay bills. I feel like barfing.

- Today I went to make myself a cup of coffee. My husband put all of my favorite Eeyore coffee cups on the highest shelf (I'm 5 foot 3!) I reached for one, dropped it, tried to catch it, then slammed it into my wrist, then dropped it on my foot. then I stood up and whacked my head on the still open cupboard. It still hurts like an effer.

- Everyone is pregnant AGAIN. My best friend is pg with her FOURTH (she's due in like 2 weeks). Two of my regular clients are due in the next month (one with her 2nd and one with her 4th!). Three more of my friends told me they were pg within the last week (no first babies for anyone, all 2nd, 3rd, 4th). People who WERE NOT TRYING.
sigh. Last in Line Lala. Getting tattooed on my forehead.

- My cat keeps pooping in the middle of the kitchen floor. WHY???!!!

- I miss my DVD player, but I can't buy a new one. wah.

- wishing I had something of value to sell in a yard sale this weekend so I can raise some cash, but all I have is CRAP!

- Seriously keep seeing people on MFP that lost 30 plus lbs in the first 6 weeks after lap-band surgery. WHY NOT ME!!!!!!!!! I'm not losing ANYTHING. I don't get it. I exercise. I get my protein in. I stay in my calories. WHAAT THE EFFFF!!!!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


Oh no! The hungries are here. I don't like the hungries. It's dinner time. I know by how I feel (antsy, crabby, grumbly, weak) that I am hungry. I'm all bitchy and pissy today too, because of the hungries.

Before my band, when I was hungry, I would turn into a total crab and nag at my husband that I was hungry and that I was weak and that I needed food NOW (usually fast food) and I didn't feel like cooking, but NOTHING sounded good and I would get all whiny and anxious.

It really sucked.

I don't like that person.

She came back today. My poor husband keeps trying to be nice and suggest things, but everything has bread (which I have tried, a few bites of crunchy garlic toast). or pasta. or rice. all of which I know he loves, but I am really trying to avoid, even if I can get them down (I don't want to do it that way!!!)


Friday, May 25, 2012

Bring your own Crazy!

BYOC is 5 little questions we answer to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Come join us & enjoy!!

1. Tell me about your first childhood home that you remember.

We lived in Southern California - I lived in the same house from birth to 14 years, I loved that house!1 story, 3 bedrooms. I am an only child so I had my own room - the room next to mine was the "spare room"/office/guest room. We had a inground pool with a waterslide and diving board...I miss my pool! We also had a huge yard with orange trees and I had a playhouse made out of our shed. haha! oh, and our house had a white picket fence around it! it was so cute. I miss it.

2. What is hands down your favorite color on this Earth?

My favorite colors are pink (like candy pink) and aqua :-) and red. I have a pink/aqua/red kitchen with a cupcake theme and it's bitchin'!!!

3. What kind of hair do you prefer on your significant other? Or what kind of hair is a turn on to you?

My hubby has a shaved head. I LOVE it. I've had 4 "boyfriends" 2 were bald (one became my hubby) and the other two had thick brown hair that was kind of shaggy. I like the bald.

4. Now that it's you mow your lawn or does someone else? How long does it take you? Do you hate or love doing it?

Hubby does it. I do the weeding and the watering.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week.

Not too busy, just a little bit of work. We worked on cleaning the garage and moving stuff from the storage to the garage. Tomorrow, the ZOO with the kiddles! :-)

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Ten things Thursday

1. So I was reading Drazil's 10 things and she was talking about dreams and that made me remember MY dream from last night, so here it is!

So, in the dream I was at my Godson's school where we had all just made 50 "special" chairs for his classroom, and we were gifting them to the class.Afterwards, I was swinging from a swing in the schoolyard, only it was a treeswing and hanging on a Japanese magnolia tree (we have one in our yard, it has pink blooms in the spring). I was swinging pretty high, wearing a dress and flipflops when this chick starts to mess with me (trying to stop me, trying to pull off my shoes) so I get off the swing thinking she wants to fight (and if you've ever seen the movie "Annie" - it was Pepper from that movie! strange) anyway, she has some toadie with her, and they tell me I HAVE TO GO SEE SOMETHING with them. So we go to this old abandoned shack, and there is a guy there making musical instruments out of old bicycles. Pepper turns to me and says "BUT HE ALSO MAKES INSTRUMENTS OUT OF BONES!!" (um, okay). then she says, it's my birthday! Let's go eat gummybears by the creek! We we do that, and in the creek she finds a gold rubyring with a skeleton key on it and says "IT'S A SIGN FROM GOD!" .....and then I woke up because I had to pee. The End.

Geez. Whacky.

2. I am almost all caught up with work so my job today (with hubby) is to CLEAN THE GARAGE. It's like an episode of hoaders in there!

3. It's like that because when we moved, my cousins and parents helped, and they just dumped everything in my garage (remember, I moved in LAST SEPTEMBER). It's a miracle I've been able to find anything! We also moved the stuff from my old portrait studio too - so it's a tangle of props. and crap.

4. Then we're going to go get some stuff from our storage, and put it in the garage. I have too much crap. I should take some pix of it. It's insane. Maybe I should have a yard sale?

5. Although, I want to keep my props (it's a sickness) then everything else has memories and no one would buy it. haha.

6. Food issues again. The thought of anything pureed or a shake makes me feel ill right now. Some scrambled eggs kind of sound good though. For dinner for the last 4 nights we've had fish. It's soft and I have no trouble eating a small fillet. but it's boring. At least my husby likes fish a lot!

7. So I will have a bottle of propel zero, which is like my crack. Kiwi-Strawberry is like, heaven on earth. I can't have soda so this is my replacement. I search for sales on it obsessively so I can stock up. I have a stockpile of PROPEL people. If the end of the world comes, I will be well hydrated.

8. Still grumpy that I'm not losing. I know they told me "not to worry about it" but they didn't say for sure that I wasn't going to lose. It seems like everyone else lost 20-30 lbs right away (before their first fill). and I lost. Seven. Always last in line, that's me!

9. My fill is on June 11th! Exciting. and then 4 days later we're going camping! I love to go camping. I will have to get over that I can't have all of the food. Ribs.Burgers.SMORES.Hot dogs roasted over the campfire. I wonder if I can eat a marshmallow. that will make me happy.

10. We've also set the dates for summer vacation! We're going to DISNEY! Yippeeee! I heart Disneyland. How can you not grin the entire time you're there?? We're also going to California Adventure - I've never been there. My favorite rides are the Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean - hands down. I could just ride them over and over. (I pretty much like every ride there, we love Mr.Toad's Wild Ride too!)

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A little about me - Part 1

Just a random list of stuff

1. I don't get excited about purses or shoes. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE "STUFF" and would love to buy shoes/purses, but I can't - so that's why I'm not into them. I do love MY purse, it's handmade, and is covered with roses and skulls. haha

2. I really love kids. Today a baby pee'd and poo'd all over my studio and me. and I don't care. He was adorable. but I'm scared that when I have a kid, they won't like me.

3. I have panic attacks in dressing rooms - I can't wait until this is over. It started 10 years ago when I got STUCK in a dress I was trying on, because I was too big for it. This is probably why all of my clothes are from wallyworld and tarjay!

4. I hate Victoria's Secret with the fire of 1000 suns. A few years back, on Black Friday, I worked in the mall at a Chain Portrait studio. It was slower than we thought, so the manager let us go out in groups to go shopping. I happened to be with the manager (who was also my friend) and she wanted to go to VS. So I went with her, and waited while she looked (I didn't look at much, knowing nothing would fit me in the store) when a saleslady came up to me and started bugging me - "Can I help you find something...for a FRIEND??" "I'm sorry, we don't sell your size here!" (titter, titter, from all of the salesgirls). Seriously???!!!! I wouldn't shop there even if I had the body I want and all of the money in the world. Bitches. I wish they worked on commission like the chicks at the boutique in Pretty Woman - because then I could come in with a ton of shopping bags from other stores and say "BIG BIG MISTAKE!!!"

5. I love fairies, gnomes, and anything whimsical. I can't wait to finish our yard because it's going to have a wicked cool fairy garden in it. Our living room will also be decorated in a whimsical way - I will post pix when I'm done!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


...that I am following every instruction from the Surgeon's office and I am NOT losing any weight. Freakin' 256. STILL.

...not really frustrated but jealous of everyone else who had this extensive Lane Bryant/Torrid wardrobe. I have never been able to afford any of their clothes (I have ONE shirt from Torrid). I have no idea why this makes me so annoyed today.

...still not hungry really, but eating my mushie meals and shakes (or it would be impossible to get the protein in)

...Exercising as much as I can do before I fall down dead with exaustion. I have no idea if it's doing anything. because the freaking scale hates me.

....bitching done...for now..hahahahahaaa

Monday, May 21, 2012

Sweatin' To the Oldies

Yes, Way...I bought "Sweatin' to the Oldies" on VHS at the thrift store last week. I haven't gotten to do it yet, but I can't wait. I am a nerd.

But anyway, this post is to talk about exercise. I don't HATE it. I just seem to get tired super fast. Right now we're trying to walk at least 30-45 min a day (except when we have the kids visiting, because the walk we go on involves walking in the street for part of it.)

Also doing: Wii Fit (30 minutes) but spread out through the day while I'm working on the computer.

Wii Just Dance (I can do about 3 songs in a row, then I have to wait at least 10 min and have some water before I go on)

(And a Question for people who know what they are doing about exercise -I've had many people tell me that doing 5-10 min at a time, then stopping is useless and pointless because I'm not keeping my heart rate up for long enough???)

Sweatin' to the oldies (not sure how I will do with that yet)


Tennis (I've promised my Godson D that at least 1 day a week after Schools out that I will pick him up and take him to play Tennis. I can do it for about 45 minutes. )

I've slightly toyed with the thought of joining a gym, but...I hate it. and it's not the exercise I hated. It was the people. It was the skinny, buff snotty assholes who would laugh at my fat butt trying to get on the exercise bike. I also can't afford it (We would have to get memberships for both my hubby and I, because no way I'm going alone.) sigh. I'm just so super klutzy that the thought of doing any exercise classes gives me a panic attack - I can't take the snickering and people laughing at me for falling down or tripping. I don't have anyone to go with either (whine, whine) - all of my friends have tiny kids and no time.

Sigh. So exercising with Richard Simmons at home it is!

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Mexican Food, Here I come!

My Mother in Law is in town for just tonight and she is taking us out for Mexican food...sigh. We always go to the same place, and I always get amazing, delicious fajitas. Bummer. Can they just puree them?

The plan is to have some of my husby's beans and cheese (I'm not ordering an entree...What's the point?)My "mushies" phase starts tomorrow anyway.

I might try a chip or two. I'm not hungry anyway today (which is good, because I do kind of feel hungry sometimes)

Wish me luck!

ahhhh Panic Attack

I do tend to panic sometimes, but I've had it under control for months.

Last night I messed up something in my work (well, in my opinion, the client prevented me from doing my job fully, then they were not happy with the selection of work I provided them. Which, is - whose fault? gah) So I couldn't barely sleep last night because I was so worried about hearing more negative stuff from them (via email) I had contacted them with concerns and offered to do whatever I could to make it right for them.

So today I'm just a ball of nerves. I feel like I'm going to barf :-(

ETA: no less than 3 minutes after I posted this, they wrote to me and seemed understanding and wanted to work something out. ahhhh. the power of blogging!! :-D

Friday, May 18, 2012


That means it’s time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer five little questions to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog and enjoy!!

1. What religion were you raised as a child, if any, and are you still a member of that faith today? Why or why not?

I was raised as...none. My Mom and Dad were both forced to go to church and school (church school?) - when they had me, they didn't raise me any anything but to be a good person. If anyone asks me what my religion is - that's what I say - I was raised to be a good person and help others, but it doesn't have a label or a church.

I have *tried* many times to seek comfort from many faiths when I was troubled (I would go to church with friends) but I never felt wanted or that I belonged. Actually I pretty much felt like crap whenever I went. I sometimes envy people for the comfort they seem to get from religion/God/Jesus, but it just doesn't do anything for me.Maybe that could change - I don't know. I have no problems with anyone elses beliefs either (My best friend is deeply religious and a wonderful person, and her equally awesome husband is a Pastor)

2. Do you have an all time favorite candy or do you change favorites often?

CANDY?? Sadly, I never met a candy I didn't like, unless it was like crawfish flavored or something (I used to live in Hawaii, where they have tons of stuff from Japan, and Japan has the WEIRDEST candy flavors)

My "favorite" candy BAR is called a Violet Crumble - I believe they are from Australia - we used to be able to find them in Hawaii then when I moved at a store called World Market - but they don't have them anymore! WAH! It's chocolate covered honeycomb toffee. Dude.

3. Are you a green thumb? Do you landscape your yard or plant any flowers or a garden? Do you pay someone to do it for you? Do you not plant a single thing?

I'm working on it. We are working on landscaping our new house, but it's slow going - and expensive.

4. Let’s just say you were a tattoo junkie and you were planning your next tat and it had to be words only. What words would you choose? A quote? Phrase? One word? Would you do it in English or a different language?

"Liebling" which means "little love" in German. It was what we named out first baby we lost.

5. Repeat question: Summarize your week.

I worked. I edited pictures. We went to my stepsons Kindergarten Graduation on Thursday and also got to visit with my Mother in law (she's stopping through on a trip). Today we went to my stepsons Cubscout graduation. I took so many pictures of his Graduations that I'm going to be editing them for a week. bah.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

10 Things Thursday

This might take me ALL day, but here we go!

1. I am being brave and having cream of wheat for breakfast (well, I also had some protein shake) - just a tiny, baby size serving. and it's delicious. because it's REAL FOOD.

2. Speaking of real food, I had the hugest craving for meatballs yesterday. So I made my hubby get a meatball sub from Subway, and I ate 2 meatballs (not at the same at the restaurant and one at home like 5 hours later). I could get used to this.

3. I also got to see Dark Shadows!!! ooooo I love Johnny Depp. *swoon* Johnny as a vampire...yes please. We got popcorn. I might have had some. It was amazing. I did get pissed at my hubby for ordering a diet coke (sob) - I had brought a propel zero in my purse for me.

4. Today has been interesting so far - I've overcooked (overflowed) Cream of wheat in the microwave, hit my head (hard) on one of the kitchen cupboards, and then we tried to go for a walk and my leg started spasming and hurting after 10 minutes. Fun times.

5. I think I'm going to stay seated for a while and work so I don't hurt myself anymore.

6. Someone needs to buy me THIS! A "Soft Kitty" from Big Bang Theory that ACTUALLY SINGS SOFT KITTY???!!!

7. Speaking of Soft Kitty - check out the shirt I got for my Mommy for Mother's day:

8.We love Soft Kitty SO much, that Mom and D (my godson) have written out the notes so they can play it on the Piano

Yes, I come from a family of Nerds. It's awesome.

9. I'm supposed to be working, but I always listen to movies while I work (I do my best work to "The Hangover" and sometimes "Hot tub Time Machine" and "Xanadu") BUT my DVD player is broken. I have some VHS tapes (it's a vcr/dvd player) but I usually watch "Wayne's World" every day because it's my favorite out of the tapes I own.

10. I need someone to pay for their pictures TODAY so I can go buy an new DVD player. It's killing meeeee (We don't have cable or Netflix. My life is so hard!) :-)

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Where are you Lala?

Oh, still here. Still on the same liquid diet (it's killing me smalls!) I haven't lost much of anything, but I will be patient.

We had a great Mother's day and my husband bought me a t-shirt I wanted - I knew it would be too small (XL - but it was from Hot Topic, and all of the clothes there are teeny tiny). I've also had these jeans in my closet for I don't know how long. I don't think I've ever worn them. I was extremely surprised to get them ON and ZIPPED! They are size 20! I haven't worn a size 20 since like 1999

So, I made my wonderful Husby take a pic of me (How convenient that I already have a background set up!) and here it is!

The plan is to take a pic in this outfit for every 10 lbs I lose :-)

Also, one of my very good, IRL friends is having Gastric Bybass done today (well, it's already done, but she's in recovery) She has a blog too! Please go visit her and say HI! :-)

Saturday, May 12, 2012


I need a giant banner that says that somewhere in the house.

Oh or maybe someone who shoves a sign in my face with those words on it whenever I start to whine.

I left our house on surgery day at 263. Then I lost 6 lbs. and now, again, I weigh 263.

I don't think 800 calories is enough. I think it is messing everything up.

Yesterday the babymama (affectionate name for my Stepsons Mom) asked us to pick him up at his bus stop after school because she had plans and it was our day to have him anyway. So we did, but she showed up anyway to kiss him goodbye etc. She came to our car and shoved a bunch of drawings, cards and laminated artwork that he had made into my open window -


Fun times. I would not be lying to say that I either wanted to punch someone or start crying when she did that. You would "think" that schools would make Mother's day stuff for Stepmothers, but they don't. I've met my stepson's teacher. She knows he has a stepmother. But again, It doesn't count. I don't count.

I did eat some yogurt today which I realize was a bad idea - only 5 grams of protein. duh. and now I can't get any protein shake down.

My Dad called me and told me we are going to my Mom's favorite breakfast restaurant tomorrow for Mother's day. I love that place too, and I'm just MAD that I won't be able to order anything because really - why would I pay for a meal when I can't eat it? and everyone around me will be eating Hawaiian Pancakes and Oatmeal Cookie pancakes, and Denver Omelets and Bacon, and Strawberry Cheesecake French toast and WAFFLES and Cinnamon Rolls and Biscuits and Gravy and sausage and Hash Browns. Depressing. Positive note: they do have good coffee. Maybe I'll have a cup of that. sigh.

and kind of mad that I didn't meet my goal of 25 lbs lost by the 11th. I guess that was a stupid goal. I'm still going to go see Dark Shadows because Johnny Depp is my boyfriend and Tim Burton (director of movie) is too. mmmmmmmmmmm. I can't wait. Just me, my hubby and a propel zero. and no popcorn. wah.

and edited to add: I hate Mother's day. I hate that every single craft or art project I do with my Stepson (where I've provided the supplies etc) he makes for his Mom or his Grandma's. He will not make anything for me or My Mom. I hate that I've spent at least the last 15 years of my life daydreaming of the day when my husband and kid/s would come bounding into my bedroom on Mother's day with breakfast in bed and other stupid Hallmark sentimental crap. I give up.

Friday, May 11, 2012

BYOC - Bring your own Crazy!

BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy!
It’s Friday fun day! That means it’s time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer a few questions to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog if you so desire and have fun! Thanks Drazil!

1. Are you a “wake up on the first beep of the alarm clock” or a “hit the snooze button 50 times before you get up” kind of person? Is your alarm clock set to the right time?

hahahaha - My hubby and I are the masters of "5 more minutes". Today I needed to get out of the house by 8:20 am. My alarm was set for 7am

first Beep - get up, bathroom, back to bed
3-6 beeps (my snooze is 5 minutes) We say "5 more minutes to each other"
Then there is snuggling. I need early morning snuggles.

2. Do you decorate for any holidays other than Christmas?

Oh yes - I am the "Queen of Halloween" I will post some pix below in a bit of last years "display"

3. Would you consider yourself a spontaneous fly by the seat of your pants kind of person or a massive OCD controlling planner kind of person or someone in between?

It depends -if I had the money - I could totally just fly off and do whatever - but since I don't have money, I do have to plan out every detail and make sure all bills are paid etc before I even THINK of doing anything. Adulthood sucks.

4. Tell me some of your MUST have hair products that you use consistently….you know - share your “hair routine”.

errrr..I am really bad with hair. I hate doing my hair so I either have it cut to chin length with bangs or "long enough for a ponytail"

I do have a great set up with a stylist - I take her pictures (of her kids) and I get a cut/color when I need it.

I don't use any product in my hair - ever - unless it's Halloween or I'm going somewhere like a wedding and my hair needs to look nice for a while. Last Halloween I just gave up and wore a wig - I hate doing my hair THAT much.

5. Repeat question: How was your week and what are your upcoming weekend plans?

Still struggling with being super cranky when I don't "eat". I don't feel like eating (drinking) because I'm sick of protein shakes, jello, strained soup, and broth. I have tried some yogurt but it wasn't as yummy as I remember it being. Have you ever heard the saying "Hunger is the best sauce"? that's totally it for me - I'm not hungry and nothing tastes good anymore. It sucks.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

800 calories or what??

Is it enough? All I know is that I am cranky. and emotional.

I have diet plan ("what to eat after surgery") papers from

- The Dietitian I had to see before being banded.

- From the Weight Loss Co-ordinator that works with the Surgeon

- and From the Surgeons Office


Some say 800 calories a Day. Some have no calorie limit listed.
Some say 80 grams of protein a day, some say 50-60.
Some say I can have pureed foods after 2 weeks, some say 3 weeks.

I seriously thing people who have a problem with food like me really need more kind of counseling or something BEFORE getting the band, because right now - I'm cranky, I'm not hungry in the least bit, and I'm GAINING weight. sigh

Ten things Thursday

1. I went back to work today! Photographing a 5 day old sweet baby boy.

2. I went to their house to do it, and I totally overdid it - I had to use an upstairs room in a giant mansion - crap. I am pooped out.

3. After I had to have something - not hungry, because I'm never hungry but CRANKY still stops by for a visit. We went to our favorite smoothie place where I got a Peanut Butter Banana with protein added smoothie. Heavenly! They also have one there that's called PBJ and dude, it tastes EXACTLY like a Peanut butter and jelly sammich.

4. Back to working, the baby peed and pooped on me. My job is GLAMOUROUS!!!

5. I do want some food though. It go out and have a nice meal. and a drink. but I AM DENIED! wah

6. The good news is that we barely spend any money on groceries (I have been making the hubby cook for himself. He eats a lot of tv dinners, and spaghetti. and toast) or eating out (except addictive peanut butter smoothies)

7. oh my dawg I feel like crap now. Maybe it was too early to go back to work.

8. Tomorrow I'm not working but have a Vendor show to go to with a local exercise group for Moms. I have to be there at 8am ish. too early I say! blah

9. I hate not being hungry but "wanting" food. I'm so grumpy and tired and cranky and normally I would cure this with food.

10. and to make my life even better - my DVD player decided to break. We don't have cable or netflix or anything - I need movies! preferably ones I've seen a hundred times!

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Pain in the Neck

That's what my "omg I drank that too fast" warning is. A serious, actual pain in the neck!

I'm still trying to get all of that blasted protein in - it almost seems impossible! I'm not hungry though, but I crave these things daily

Popcorn - my ultimate comfort food. I've been dying to go to the movies, but I have never NOT gotten popcorn. My hubby says he's okay with not having it at the movies (and no Diet coke either..gah). My treat when I get to 25 lbs lost is going to be to see "Dark Shadows" and the plan is for me to bring a Propel Zero in my purse (and a candy bar for the hubby).

Cheeseburgers - I confess. I made my husband buy me a regular McDon.ald's Cheeseburger yesterday. I took 2 bites of just the meat.
Chewed it and chewed it - no swallowing. then spit it in a napkin and gave him the cheeseburger. I felt AWFUL about it for a while, but you know, it didn't even taste like I thought it would, it wasn't even good to me! so Yay, I'm calling that a NSV :-)

Coffee - I can make it at home with the Kerig, but I crave Starbucks. I had a tall iced notfat caramel macchiato the other day when we went for a walk at the mall - it took me over an hour to drink it (I took it home with me) and again, I just didn't enjoy it as much? It was weird. It was good, but not like I "remembered"

and a Pic from today! 257 lbs and Smilin!

I also really want to win the Eggface Viva Las Vegas Giveaway! I think it will be a great motivator! and I never win anything so it's MY TURN! haha!


I'm down about 6 lbs this week, not sure if that is normal or not.I was kind of disappointed when I weighed myself this morning and hadn't gone down more.

I'm working hard on getting my 80 protein and 800 calories a day in. It's so whacky, for the last 2 months before surgery, I was set at 1400 calories a day - and I was constantly starving.

I do tend to get a little "weak" in the afternoons - if I don't drink my shake. I am slightly sick of shakes.

I'm feeling fine except for a tiny bit of pain around the port.

I've been trying to do as much walking as I can since Thursday too.

Today I'm trying the Wii fit again and working out on that :-)

Yay one week!

Monday, May 7, 2012


Oh, do I want something chewy. or crunchy :-(

I'm trying hard to give myself variety with foods, but this liquid thing is the pits. The major pits.

I almost never want to see a protein shake again, and I'm not even a week post-op. I've been trying different pre-packages ones, plain and with some extra Protein powder mixed in. I still seem to like the EAS and Slim fast ones the best. I did buy some at Target (ooo market pantry on sale) that I will be trying or keeping at Mom's house in case I need something.

I drink tons of water and have usually a cup of chicken broth and a cup of beef broth a day - it helps with the "Cheeseburgers Dancing in my head" syndrome. I did have coffee today from our Keurig - yum!

I also bought some Baked Potato soup today. Bad me, but I didn't eat the chunks! Just the liquid part. I did get a piece of bacon that I ended up swallowing, but it seems to be fine. It was heavenly soup, very tasty and it satisfied my "I'm starving!!" - in my head.

AND I finally figured out how to set MyFitnessPal to put me at 80 grams of protein and 800 calories a day!

Next, finding unflavored protein powder that I don't need to buy online. I can't find any!

ETA: I found some! It's by Biochem and is unflavored. I got it at the Vitamin Shoppe!

Sunday, May 6, 2012


I'm really struggling tonight...I watched a movie...but no snack or popcorn.

After the movie, I thought about reading, but reading for me usually also involved a snack of some kind.

I really needed some comfort...but the only other thing I would do is take a nice, long bubble bath (without a snack, at least I didn't snack in the bathtub!!) but I can't take tub baths yet due to the incisions.

I'm just wandering around the house aimlessly, being bored and thinking about snacks and bubble baths.

With a little help from my friends!

I am so blessed - I've meet so many new "banded" friends these past few weeks, and I read their blogs almost obsessively and love it when they comment! Thank you!

and my "real life" friends?? I am amazed at the support! I've received so many sweet comments and encouragements this last week - I totally was not expecting that - that is one reason why I started this blog!

and can we get a woot woot? I've lost 23 lbs! Six since Surgery day!

I have to thank Happily Ever Lapband - I have been adding extra protein powder to pre-made shakes, and it's been a breeze getting my protein in!

I do notice I get cranky around 4pm - and weak. because I'm not eating, duh. So I am having a nice EAS Chocolate shake blended up with some Biochem protein powder (vanilla) and a little bit of Salted Caramel Torani syrup. Yum! Of course, it takes me 45 minutes to drink it.

I bought this yesterday - WARNING - it is DISGUSTING. Do not buy!! Yucky. I was mad because I had some of their Cookie (like oreo cookie) powder a few months ago and it tasted fine.

I also did something funny today - I was making some Mac and cheese for my Godsons for lunch, and totally without thinking, popped some noodles in my mouth to test "doneness". Mom was there and was like " You know, you just put noodles in your mouth!!" haha! I spit them out. It was funny though.

Now, time for a walk with my Hubby. At the Mall. accckkk food court :-(

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Saturday (Night) is alright for doing waaayyy to much!

I was feeling pretty good today, so we had a trip to the park, the store (more protein powders to try - yippee!) and then Carls Jr.with my bestie, her hubby and her kiddles.

Yes, I sat there while my friends and hubby ate French fries...and patty melts, and turkey avocado burgers and burritos and drank Coke (My husband got Dr.Pepper, I hate Dr.Pepper so I was glad haha - no temptation!). I was bad and had my husband order me a "very smooth" oreo shake. I sipped on maybe an ounce of it, then gave it to the kids. I then stuck to water. (insert grumpy Lala face here)

Then it was off to Wallyworld to get some chewable vitamins and other odds and ends. so exciting!

Now, I am hurting, BAD. Time for some yucky liquid pain meds! and I can only take the pain meds if I very slowly drink a cup of warm broth, then wait. then I suck the dose down. then I have to take a drink of JUICE. If I drink water after, I barf. If I try protein shake before the meds, I barf. I HAVE A SYSTEM!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Bring your Own Crazy!

That’s right – it’s time for BYOCBring Your Own Crazy! Thanks Drazil! 

5 questions we answer in an effort to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break! Join us!!

1. Do you have any Mother’s Day traditions? 

We usually make breakfast for my Mom (my godsons - her adopted sons - like to help me) or go out to dinner the night before. I usually also give her a gift and we have a girls day if she is in town (My parents anniversary is in May so sometimes they are away during Mother's Day). I'll send a card to my Mother in Law

What do "I" do every mothers day? Cry. and get upset that my husband doesn't acknowledge it or our lost babies. Then he runs out and gets me some crap. He is getting better. I don't really care about gifts, but a card or something would work. We usually do something from my Stepson to his Mom and Grandma's - I'm ahead of the game this year, he's already picked something out and painted it - we just need to make cards and wrap them :-) 
2. Do you take a daily vitamin? Why or why not?

I take gummy vitamins and iron. I haven't tried since surgery. Pills = scary

3. Do you wear perfume every day? If yes, what kind?

No. My hubby is sensitive to "smells" so I don't  - but with bodywash (I  have a kind that smells like margaritas!) and lotion (Apple) and deodorant (lavender?) I have a...interesting smell. I like it.

I don't actually own any actual perfume!

4. When you walk or run or work out outside – what do you take with you?

I take my hubby. and the cat, in her stroller. A bottle of water, my ipod with the timer /stopwatch on it, and my phone.

5. Repeat question. Summarize your week.

Of course, I got banded! and why is the text a million different sizes when I do BYOC?? hahaha. 

Day Three

Holy crap am I bored I went back to work (just computer work) because I was ready to rip my hair out after 3 days of laying around. I loved it at my parents house, but they had to keep cooking FOOD.

I'm not hungry. I'm the opposite of hungry. but they were cooking things that smelled way too good. Tacos. Panini Sandwiches. Omelets. WAFFLES! All of these things wanted to GET IN MY BELLEH!

So, I packed up my junk and had my husband bring me home, then we went to the store to get me some stuff (protein powder, a movie to watch) and so I could go for a walk.

and I tried to watch the movie, but my DVD player decided to be broken.

and I am BORED. Can they please make a popcorn FREE movie theatre - just for a few weeks?

and I am dying to take a bath and relax. Woe is me.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

All about my band! (or as much as I can remember)

Since I have the lap-top for a few, I'm going to try to type out everything I remember. Mainly to keep my mind off of the fact that I'm staying at my parents house and at this very moment, my Mom is making Panini Sandwiches for the rest of the fam. I'm not hungry. I know I can't eat it. but dude, it smells delish. waaah.

(Warning, some TMI stuff below)

I woke up on Surgery day period. Fun times! When we checked into the hospital and they had me put on my gown, I asked the nurse, what should I do? Should I wear "protection"? she said no. I was like...okaaay. but whatever. Then they made me pee in a cup for a pregnancy test. yay more fun!

IV, vitals, etc, - I tell them to give me A LOT of "relaxing" medicine. My room did have a tv so I got to relax for a bit. The anesthesiologist came in to say hi, then it was time to go!

They wheeled me in, and I swear, the anesthesiologist asked me to "Name 5 US senators" - I was like, what?? but then it seemed like just a few minutes until I was in recovery with a nice nurse named Carol. I  may have told her my pain was "11-teen" haha!

I got to go back to my room after a while then they let mom come see me. I had to go to the bathroom when I realized that I didn't have a catheter! and omg. a mess. no pad under me, gross. and my nurse was a total hottie. It was not fun trying to take care of my er "personal" stuff immediately after surgery!!! they had me trying to put on the free mesh panties and a giant pad. fun times. Mom and hubby brought me a balloon and a present from the gift shop too!

Pic from right after:

Mom helped me get dressed the rest of the way, and I got wheeled to the car by hottie nurse. We went home and I was pretty out of it. The anti-nausea meds made me barf. the pain meds made me barf. but by Wednesday I was doing pretty good.

(Me with Mom's Cat)

Liquid Diet Buffet

The pain I have right now is around the port area, but I can walk around fine and get in and out of the recliner. I'm not hungry but if I smell food I get grumpy! I can have protein shakes now, and I've been having broth and water and jello and popsicles. and I may have sucked on a piece of carmel corn (I spit it out when it was mostly gone, I was too scared to swallow it!!!) and Mom did get me some cheesecake frozen yogurt and I had a few bites of that.

Scary picture:

I am bored though. I am ready to get back to work (at least on the computer, not physically).

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I'm banded!!!

Yay! I am banded! It's hard to blog here on the iPad but i am doi g okay. I will try to write out a full update tomorrow