Saturday, March 24, 2012


We took the kiddles (stepson and godson) to the park today, and played and played.. (I wonder how to track that). My hubby and I also walked labs around the playground for 30 minutes.

and THEN...We borrowed some equipment from my parents and played TENNIS. I haven't played since College (and I wasn't any good at it then) but when I'm playing with my Husband (Nerdy, unathletic) and a 6 year old and an 8 year old - I am the freaking bomb.

We had a ball (heh) and they are begging to go back tomorrow! I tracked it into myfitnesspal as 45 min (although we played for about an hour) and it said "600 something" calories. Which I really want to believe is true, because I ate at Arby's today (No bun, just meat with 1 pump of horsey sauce, and a few curly fries) :-)

urg. My blog is boring!

Friday, March 23, 2012

A New Day!

I weighed myself this morning ...265.5 !!!!! and more !!!!!

Can we say YIPPEEE!! Of course, there are no weigh in's on Fridays but I will be there Monday with bells on.

and now, time to go see The Hunger Games in IMAX!!! This was a present to myself for trying to hard on this journey!I am so excited!

Thursday, March 22, 2012


I'm not banded yet. but I'm stuck.

I have 1 lb left to lose. It wants to stay.

I have the same 2 lbs that come and go every single weigh in. I'm either 266 or 268. I don't know what's up.

I haven't been exercising as I should.

I've been having stomach aches every day and I don't know why.

I went for a walk (fast pace) and could only make it for SEVEN MINUTES. That's messed up.

I'm sad. I just feel like I don't get to have friends to hang out with because I don't have kids. Sure, I have friends, but I never get to see them because they have kids and of course, they are busy.

I am the photographer for a Mom's group - so I belong to the Fac.ebook group. I get invited to every playgroup (I only go if it's one I'm photographing, which is just a few times a year). and I have to RSVP "NO - I am a fat cow who doesn't get to have any kids so I don't get to go" (at least it feels like that)

I also get invited to their Mom's Night Out every month. I cannot go - I'm not a Mom.

I have been toying with the idea of joining a gym, but I just can't afford it right now.

I'm crying and I just want some food.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012


I have not been very good.

In fact, on Sunday all I had to eat that day was 3 slices of Hut Meatlovers Pizza, Diet Coke, and Movie popcorn (strangely enough,the next day when I weighed myself I had lost .3 lbs - after not losing anything for over a week)

I've had steak sandwiches. I've had Taco Bell. I've been tracking everything, and the only day I've gone over is the Pizza/Popcorn day.

I have Myfitnesspal set at 1600 calories a day.
30 minutes of walking a day (I miss a few days on my period though)

but I just stay at the same. Sigh. Now is the waiting (weighting?) game, when they will finally schedule the surgery.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Sleep Study aftermath

Quite possibly, the worst sleep I've had in years. Oh well. I went to "bed" at 11:30 (I let my husband stay in the bed, I get lonely without him) and I probably didn't fall asleep until at least 1-2am . I got up once to use the bathroom and everything started flashing so I had to make sure it was all plugged in.

I woke up at 6:45 and was like YAY I CAN TAKE THESE THINGS OFF NOW! So I did, put it away in the case, and went back bed until 11am. whoops. We needed to take it back to the hospital by noon so we were cutting it close.

Other wise, I guess I'm okay. I have a rash on my hands where they taped things down from the tape, and a rash on each cheek, again from the stupid tape. sigh

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Sleep Study Night!

We just went and got me all hooked up at the sleep lab at the this is what I have

  • Band around my chest (under my arms)
  • band around my waist
  • monitor on my left index finger (oxygen reader)
  • band around my right wrist (pulse)
  • tubes up my nose (breathing, air intake etc)
  • tube/sensor in front of my mouth that tracks my breath, snoring and temp
Mom took these (extremely blurry) pix of me..

I'm doing okay except now I can't take my bra off (I was not going in there braless!!!) and I have a raging headache and horrible cramps. I forgot to ask if I can take some tylenol or something.

Updated to say -
this thing really sucks. It doesn't get "turned on" until 10pm but I have to wear it anyway.

It's tight now and I have a headache

and it's hard to play angry birds with this crap on my hands.

There's nothing to TV and I can't work with all of this crap on or play the Wii or take a bath or anything. hahahha bitchy mcgee tonight!

Tuesday, March 13, 2012


Finally, finally, the sleep study is scheduled - I get to do it at HOME!! Yippeee! It's cheaper and not as weird (people watching me as I sleep? errr no thanks) I go to the hospital on Thursday night to get "hooked up". I guess there are a ton of electrodes and wires and all sorts of fun stuff I have to wear, including a TUBE IN MY NOSE. Fun times.

Of course, they want me to go to sleep at like ...9pm. Right. I'm already planning on making my husband sleep on the couch (our bed is only a full size, and he's a bed hog). I'll probably have to kick the cats out of the room too.. :-(

I do have Time of Month (TOM) so that will be fun also.

BUT! BUT! This is the last thing I have to do!!! I am up a teeny bit on the scale due to the TOM so I didn't get weighed in this week, but I think it will be fine. I had to schedule work for myself for the next few weeks so it's looking like the surgery will be around beginning to mid April!!! YIPPEEEE!

Saturday, March 10, 2012

"I don't think about food when I'm not hungry"

Direct Quote from my 8 year old Godson when I asked him what he wanted for dinner.

This was about 2-3 hours after lunch, and truthfully, I was almost starving.

sigh. I do think about food when I'm not hungry. I think about food all of time. I try to tell myself that I'm just trying to plan dinner, as no one cooks but me (and really, I don't like cooking that much. I do like making yummy food, but I loathe the prep and clean up. Take me out, please) sigh.

Friday, March 9, 2012

My Week

I have a few min before bed (thank goodness I can type in the dark, sorta)...the "kids" - my stepson ("S" - 6 years old) and my Godson "D" - 8 years old) are spending the night as they do most weekends. I tucked them in and got my kisses, even though I'm not "Mom" - I'm just Lala.

I worked a lot this week - I take baby photos, and decided it would be "fun" to have a weekend (last weekend) where all we photographed was Twins and Triplets. We had in 5 sets of twins and 2 sets of trips, ranging in age from 13 months to 4 years...and all I could think was - Wah - all of THESE people have all of THESE BABIES and I don't.

This isn't an infertility blog (although I've tried to have one of those, but it just fizzled out). I do want to lose weight for myself, but at 35 the clock really does feel like it's ticking.

Of course, I had to choose a profession where I am around tiny kids Parents call me a "baby whisperer" (ha!ha!). I hold all of the babies and sniff their heads (I swear I'm not a sicko...)

Anyhoo, I worked all week. I wasn't great on my food choices though, I need to blog about that. I have a real problem with either wanting to eat at night, or in the late afternoon. Even now at 11pm, I could eat...something. sigh.

Bad Blogger

Sigh. I did have good intentions - but can I blame work?

I finally got in to see the dietitian - We get to the hospital - with me, my husband, Mom and Dad (Yes, I have an entourage it seems) We sign in and the lady tells us to meet the dietitian lady ...AT THE CAFETERIA. Okay now - It's 11am. I had my protein shake like a good girl that morning because I knew I couldn't last through the appointment without eating, and I didn't know if I was going to be weighed..

Anyway, we're at the cafeteria, and when you are starving fat girl...CAFETERIA FOOD SMELLS GOOD. Omg. Of course, my Hub and Dad go get a "snack" GRRR. but the appointment was easy and fine - no problems. We find the guys afterward...they had SUSHI and PIZZA. Just stab me with a fork already.

My sleep Dr finally got back to me (I saw him 2/27) and I still have to have a sleep study - a home one. We'll see how that goes! I have some photos and other stuff to post too - If I get the motivation later! Hi if you are reading!