BE POSITIVE LALA!

I need a giant banner that says that somewhere in the house.

Oh or maybe someone who shoves a sign in my face with those words on it whenever I start to whine.

I left our house on surgery day at 263. Then I lost 6 lbs. and now, again, I weigh 263.

I don't think 800 calories is enough. I think it is messing everything up.

Yesterday the babymama (affectionate name for my Stepsons Mom) asked us to pick him up at his bus stop after school because she had plans and it was our day to have him anyway. So we did, but she showed up anyway to kiss him goodbye etc. She came to our car and shoved a bunch of drawings, cards and laminated artwork that he had made into my open window -

"OH LOOK! S MADE ALL OF THIS STUFF FOR MEEEEE FOR MOTHER'S DAY!! ISN'T IT CUTE!! NOW GIVE IT BACK"

Fun times. I would not be lying to say that I either wanted to punch someone or start crying when she did that. You would "think" that schools would make Mother's day stuff for Stepmothers, but they don't. I've met my stepson's teacher. She knows he has a stepmother. But again, It doesn't count. I don't count.

I did eat some yogurt today which I realize was a bad idea - only 5 grams of protein. duh. and now I can't get any protein shake down.

My Dad called me and told me we are going to my Mom's favorite breakfast restaurant tomorrow for Mother's day. I love that place too, and I'm just MAD that I won't be able to order anything because really - why would I pay for a meal when I can't eat it? and everyone around me will be eating Hawaiian Pancakes and Oatmeal Cookie pancakes, and Denver Omelets and Bacon, and Strawberry Cheesecake French toast and WAFFLES and Cinnamon Rolls and Biscuits and Gravy and sausage and Hash Browns. Depressing. Positive note: they do have good coffee. Maybe I'll have a cup of that. sigh.

and kind of mad that I didn't meet my goal of 25 lbs lost by the 11th. I guess that was a stupid goal. I'm still going to go see Dark Shadows because Johnny Depp is my boyfriend and Tim Burton (director of movie) is too. mmmmmmmmmmm. I can't wait. Just me, my hubby and a propel zero. and no popcorn. wah.

and edited to add: I hate Mother's day. I hate that every single craft or art project I do with my Stepson (where I've provided the supplies etc) he makes for his Mom or his Grandma's. He will not make anything for me or My Mom. I hate that I've spent at least the last 15 years of my life daydreaming of the day when my husband and kid/s would come bounding into my bedroom on Mother's day with breakfast in bed and other stupid Hallmark sentimental crap. I give up.

BYOC - Bring your own Crazy!

BYOC - Bring Your Own Crazy!
It’s Friday fun day! That means it’s time for BYOC – Bring Your Own Crazy! We answer a few questions to get to know each other better and to give our blogging brains a break. Copy to your own blog if you so desire and have fun! Thanks Drazil!


1. Are you a “wake up on the first beep of the alarm clock” or a “hit the snooze button 50 times before you get up” kind of person? Is your alarm clock set to the right time?

hahahaha - My hubby and I are the masters of "5 more minutes". Today I needed to get out of the house by 8:20 am. My alarm was set for 7am

first Beep - get up, bathroom, back to bed
3-6 beeps (my snooze is 5 minutes) We say "5 more minutes to each other"
Then there is snuggling. I need early morning snuggles.

2. Do you decorate for any holidays other than Christmas?

Oh yes - I am the "Queen of Halloween" I will post some pix below in a bit of last years "display"

3. Would you consider yourself a spontaneous fly by the seat of your pants kind of person or a massive OCD controlling planner kind of person or someone in between?

It depends -if I had the money - I could totally just fly off and do whatever - but since I don't have money, I do have to plan out every detail and make sure all bills are paid etc before I even THINK of doing anything. Adulthood sucks.

4. Tell me some of your MUST have hair products that you use consistently….you know - share your “hair routine”.

errrr..I am really bad with hair. I hate doing my hair so I either have it cut to chin length with bangs or "long enough for a ponytail"

I do have a great set up with a stylist - I take her pictures (of her kids) and I get a cut/color when I need it.

I don't use any product in my hair - ever - unless it's Halloween or I'm going somewhere like a wedding and my hair needs to look nice for a while. Last Halloween I just gave up and wore a wig - I hate doing my hair THAT much.

5. Repeat question: How was your week and what are your upcoming weekend plans?

Still struggling with being super cranky when I don't "eat". I don't feel like eating (drinking) because I'm sick of protein shakes, jello, strained soup, and broth. I have tried some yogurt but it wasn't as yummy as I remember it being. Have you ever heard the saying "Hunger is the best sauce"? that's totally it for me - I'm not hungry and nothing tastes good anymore. It sucks.

800 calories or what??

Is it enough? All I know is that I am cranky. and emotional.

I have diet plan ("what to eat after surgery") papers from

- The Dietitian I had to see before being banded.

- From the Weight Loss Co-ordinator that works with the Surgeon

- and From the Surgeons Office

and they ALL SAY FREAKING DIFFERENT THINGS!

Some say 800 calories a Day. Some have no calorie limit listed.
Some say 80 grams of protein a day, some say 50-60.
Some say I can have pureed foods after 2 weeks, some say 3 weeks.

I seriously thing people who have a problem with food like me really need more kind of counseling or something BEFORE getting the band, because right now - I'm cranky, I'm not hungry in the least bit, and I'm GAINING weight. sigh

Ten things Thursday

1. I went back to work today! Photographing a 5 day old sweet baby boy.

2. I went to their house to do it, and I totally overdid it - I had to use an upstairs room in a giant mansion - crap. I am pooped out.

3. After I had to have something - not hungry, because I'm never hungry but CRANKY still stops by for a visit. We went to our favorite smoothie place where I got a Peanut Butter Banana with protein added smoothie. Heavenly! They also have one there that's called PBJ and dude, it tastes EXACTLY like a Peanut butter and jelly sammich.

4. Back to working, the baby peed and pooped on me. My job is GLAMOUROUS!!!

5. I do want some food though. It sounds...relaxing...to go out and have a nice meal. and a drink. but I AM DENIED! wah

6. The good news is that we barely spend any money on groceries (I have been making the hubby cook for himself. He eats a lot of tv dinners, and spaghetti. and toast) or eating out (except addictive peanut butter smoothies)

7. oh my dawg I feel like crap now. Maybe it was too early to go back to work.

8. Tomorrow I'm not working but have a Vendor show to go to with a local exercise group for Moms. I have to be there at 8am ish. too early I say! blah

9. I hate not being hungry but "wanting" food. I'm so grumpy and tired and cranky and normally I would cure this with food.

10. and to make my life even better - my DVD player decided to break. We don't have cable or netflix or anything - I need movies! preferably ones I've seen a hundred times!

Pain in the Neck

That's what my "omg I drank that too fast" warning is. A serious, actual pain in the neck!

I'm still trying to get all of that blasted protein in - it almost seems impossible! I'm not hungry though, but I crave these things daily

Popcorn - my ultimate comfort food. I've been dying to go to the movies, but I have never NOT gotten popcorn. My hubby says he's okay with not having it at the movies (and no Diet coke either..gah). My treat when I get to 25 lbs lost is going to be to see "Dark Shadows" and the plan is for me to bring a Propel Zero in my purse (and a candy bar for the hubby).

Cheeseburgers - I confess. I made my husband buy me a regular McDon.ald's Cheeseburger yesterday. I took 2 bites of just the meat.
Chewed it and chewed it - no swallowing. then spit it in a napkin and gave him the cheeseburger. I felt AWFUL about it for a while, but you know, it didn't even taste like I thought it would, it wasn't even good to me! so Yay, I'm calling that a NSV :-)

Coffee - I can make it at home with the Kerig, but I crave Starbucks. I had a tall iced notfat caramel macchiato the other day when we went for a walk at the mall - it took me over an hour to drink it (I took it home with me) and again, I just didn't enjoy it as much? It was weird. It was good, but not like I "remembered"

and a Pic from today! 257 lbs and Smilin!



I also really want to win the Eggface Viva Las Vegas Giveaway! I think it will be a great motivator! and I never win anything so it's MY TURN! haha!

ONE WEEK BANDED!

I'm down about 6 lbs this week, not sure if that is normal or not.I was kind of disappointed when I weighed myself this morning and hadn't gone down more.

I'm working hard on getting my 80 protein and 800 calories a day in. It's so whacky, for the last 2 months before surgery, I was set at 1400 calories a day - and I was constantly starving.

I do tend to get a little "weak" in the afternoons - if I don't drink my shake. I am slightly sick of shakes.

I'm feeling fine except for a tiny bit of pain around the port.

I've been trying to do as much walking as I can since Thursday too.

Today I'm trying the Wii fit again and working out on that :-)

Yay one week!

Chewy

Oh, do I want something chewy. or crunchy :-(

I'm trying hard to give myself variety with foods, but this liquid thing is the pits. The major pits.

I almost never want to see a protein shake again, and I'm not even a week post-op. I've been trying different pre-packages ones, plain and with some extra Protein powder mixed in. I still seem to like the EAS and Slim fast ones the best. I did buy some at Target (ooo market pantry on sale) that I will be trying or keeping at Mom's house in case I need something.

I drink tons of water and have usually a cup of chicken broth and a cup of beef broth a day - it helps with the "Cheeseburgers Dancing in my head" syndrome. I did have coffee today from our Keurig - yum!

I also bought some Baked Potato soup today. Bad me, but I didn't eat the chunks! Just the liquid part. I did get a piece of bacon that I ended up swallowing, but it seems to be fine. It was heavenly soup, very tasty and it satisfied my "I'm starving!!" - in my head.

AND I finally figured out how to set MyFitnessPal to put me at 80 grams of protein and 800 calories a day!

Next, finding unflavored protein powder that I don't need to buy online. I can't find any!

ETA: I found some! It's by Biochem and is unflavored. I got it at the Vitamin Shoppe!