Starting over.

It's been almost 1 year since I started this journey (in January of 2011 "officially") and I'm only down 36 lbs.

I'm frustrated.

I am almost never hungry, but then the Grumpy Beast (TM) comes out later in the day, and I become what my darling husband calls "Hulk Smash Angry"

I just don't feel like eating most of the time, and when I do, it's not the best choices.

I've tried to stay High protein, but I couldn't tell you the last time I ate a salad or cooked veggies at home. I do get fruit in my protein shakes.

I thought that cutting out Fast food (simply because it gets STUCK) would help me lose weight. NOPE.

I went back to some comfort foods (due to being in pain from I don't know what - numerous trips to the ER and Doc tell me nothing) - such as Popcorn with butter topping, Graham Crackers with butter, and Sunflower seeds. I can eat all of these things without being "hungry" (I have cut out the graham crackers and it's been almost 6 weeks since I've had them)

I am working on cutting out Sunflower seeds next. I can eat them mindlessly at the computer. This is just...bad.

Popcorn is going to be the hardest. I know, Know - just eat AIR POPPED popcorn, right?? Everyone says that. But we all know it, it's gross that way and it gets stuck without the butter or oil.

and I seem have gotten into a weird habit - finding out that popcorn tastes AAMAZING with a nice big slice of Pepper Jack cheese.

Then then is exercise. One of my doctor thinks I have a small hernia in my groin and that's what causing me pain. I think my fallopian tube is blocked and that's why it hurts, but I am not a Dr. and they didn't think so when I suggested it.

So, it hurts. I don't exercise. Repeat.

I just want it to be easy for me. I know it's not easy for everyone else, but it SEEMS that way, you know?

In other news, even though my weight hasn't changed since October, I was wearing a 22-24 pants in Sept, and now I can just about fit in an size 18 pants. What the heck? I can wear XL shirts. I wish the they did measurements at the Doctors office so I can say SEE?? but they don't care.

Menu Today - horrible. I actually ate more today than I usually do

Breakfast/Lunch
Coffee with Caramel Creamer
Omelet made with 2 eggs (I only finished a little more than 1/2 of the omelet though) and 1/2 oz of Pepperjack cheese
2 slices of bacon

Snack -
1 CUP (serving is 1/4 of a cup!!) of Sunflower seeds in shell

Snack - 1 slice of apple pie (Which I didn't really need to eat because I wasn't hungry, but I made an apple pie for Christmas and brought it over to my parents house and nobody ate ANY of it and I was mad. So I said fine, I'LL HAVE SOME!)

I'm already up to around 1400 calories (I usually try to stick in the 1200 range) and I'm not hungry for dinner now that I had two snacks.

meh.

Working on a menu for tomorrow now...