New year's Eve

Yes. I need a new year. because I am breaking up with 2012.

Crazy day today, my parents are coming over to celebrate the new year. I'm cooking mexican food and drinking mango margaritas and crying.

Fun times!

I was so anxious and upset today I had no appetite.

Breakfast: Coffee

Lunch: well, around 3:30 my stomach started rumbling so I ate some cheese.

Snack: (?) mango margarita!

Dinner: Taco salads
taco meat (beef)
taco bowl made from flour tortilla
lettuce, tomato, cheese, sour cream, salsa, guacamole

I was only able to eat half.

1/2 a piece of Angel food cake with whipped cream
Small amount of popcorn
some chocolate
Some chips and guac

Myfitnesspal says around 1500 calories (but I tracked ALL of the taco salad and didn't eat it all)
Protein: 60
Weight: 247

12/30/12

I had a fun fun morning hangin' with my Banded buddies, having coffee :-) We're planning to go do something active and fun together soon too, so I am excited for that.

Breakfast: Coffee at Starbucks

Lunch: Protein Shake - the same peach/banana/strawberry/spinach one with "Greens and whey" protein powder that I had yesterday (The frozen fruit blend is by Dole - I REALLY like it, but it's kind of spendy. I can get like 4-5 shakes out of 1 bag though. The Greens and Whey Protein powder is by Biochem. I actually really like it, but I have to mix it with fruit)

Snack: 8 peanut butter filled pretzels (we were at my parents house. they have dangerous goodies there!!!)

Dinner: Mom made MEATLOAF (I love her meatloaf)
I had about 2 oz of that
small serving of mashed potatoes
small serving of corn
1/2 of a cresent roll with butter (ohhhhh...yummy. but I can only eat a bite)

1/2 chocolate chip cookie

Right now - 1000 calories
Protein: 51

Not sure if I am going to have anything else today. I'm not hungry right now but I always crave popcorn. We're having my parents and Godson (my friends family can't come after all) for New years so I'm cleaning like a busy bee and planning the menu for tomorrow.

12/29/12

Another day after a NICE sleep. This going to bed at a normal time is feeling awesome. I wonder why I never went to be early before?? haha

The babymama picked up my Stepson, and I took my Godson home (both have been visiting for Christmas vacation) and while I love them to PIECES, it's nice to have a day of quiet. Especially listening to them play Laser Tag (it was a gift from Santa Claus, exactly what they asked for, and it's LOUD. but it's fun. I might have played with it) and have Lightsaber duels.

Today we are going to see "Les Miserables"!! I am stoked!!! (and it was awesome!!)

Food today

Breakfast:
Scrambled egg with ham and cheese - I ate most of it
Coffee

Lunch:
Popcorn at the movies - with butter. yikes!

Snack after movies: slice of cheese
1/4 cup of sunflower seeds (and now I am OUT so I am not buying more)
5 raisins

Dinner: Protein Shake
Dole Pre-cut fruit (Peach, Banana, Strawberry)
Spinach
"Greens and Whey" Protein power (Bio-Chem)
Water

Calories: 1500 (dang popcorn)
Protein: 59

Not more food tonight, I get to have water (and I am out of diet coke, except for the cup that was left over from the movies - not buying any more diet coke either)

Tomorrow I get to clean the house since on New Year's Eve we have my Stepson (Insert Shocked face here) and My parents, Godson and maybe my Bestie and her Husband/kids are coming over. We're making Taco Salads, watching Big Bang Theory (Obsessed. I got seasons 3,4 and 5 for Christmas) and playing board games while the kiddles play in the other room. Fun times!

Menu/what I ate 12/28/12

I started off today in a pretty good mood - I actually went to bed before midnight (that never happens) so I got some good sleep in.

My Godson (staying over for Christmas break) wanted cinnamon rolls for breakfast. then I ate one (BAD LALA!)

I'm feeling good, back to work now (at least computer work) and watching Pitch Perfect over and over because it makes me happy.

Breakfast:Cinnamon Roll and Skim Milk (1 cup)
Two cups of coffee with Caramel macchiato creamer

Snack: 1/4 cup sunflower seeds in shell
4 Starburst jellybeans

Lunch: Shrimp with cocktail sauce (I make it - ketchup, horseradish and lemon juice. I don't like pre-made)

Dinner: well, lunch was at 3pm so I didn't eat dinner.

Snack: light butter popcorn and a slice of pepper jack cheese (trying SO hard not to crave this!)

Calories: 1170
Protein: 41
Sugar: 42 (YIKES! working on that)

Starting over.

It's been almost 1 year since I started this journey (in January of 2011 "officially") and I'm only down 36 lbs.

I'm frustrated.

I am almost never hungry, but then the Grumpy Beast (TM) comes out later in the day, and I become what my darling husband calls "Hulk Smash Angry"

I just don't feel like eating most of the time, and when I do, it's not the best choices.

I've tried to stay High protein, but I couldn't tell you the last time I ate a salad or cooked veggies at home. I do get fruit in my protein shakes.

I thought that cutting out Fast food (simply because it gets STUCK) would help me lose weight. NOPE.

I went back to some comfort foods (due to being in pain from I don't know what - numerous trips to the ER and Doc tell me nothing) - such as Popcorn with butter topping, Graham Crackers with butter, and Sunflower seeds. I can eat all of these things without being "hungry" (I have cut out the graham crackers and it's been almost 6 weeks since I've had them)

I am working on cutting out Sunflower seeds next. I can eat them mindlessly at the computer. This is just...bad.

Popcorn is going to be the hardest. I know, Know - just eat AIR POPPED popcorn, right?? Everyone says that. But we all know it, it's gross that way and it gets stuck without the butter or oil.

and I seem have gotten into a weird habit - finding out that popcorn tastes AAMAZING with a nice big slice of Pepper Jack cheese.

Then then is exercise. One of my doctor thinks I have a small hernia in my groin and that's what causing me pain. I think my fallopian tube is blocked and that's why it hurts, but I am not a Dr. and they didn't think so when I suggested it.

So, it hurts. I don't exercise. Repeat.

I just want it to be easy for me. I know it's not easy for everyone else, but it SEEMS that way, you know?

In other news, even though my weight hasn't changed since October, I was wearing a 22-24 pants in Sept, and now I can just about fit in an size 18 pants. What the heck? I can wear XL shirts. I wish the they did measurements at the Doctors office so I can say SEE?? but they don't care.

Menu Today - horrible. I actually ate more today than I usually do

Breakfast/Lunch
Coffee with Caramel Creamer
Omelet made with 2 eggs (I only finished a little more than 1/2 of the omelet though) and 1/2 oz of Pepperjack cheese
2 slices of bacon

Snack -
1 CUP (serving is 1/4 of a cup!!) of Sunflower seeds in shell

Snack - 1 slice of apple pie (Which I didn't really need to eat because I wasn't hungry, but I made an apple pie for Christmas and brought it over to my parents house and nobody ate ANY of it and I was mad. So I said fine, I'LL HAVE SOME!)

I'm already up to around 1400 calories (I usually try to stick in the 1200 range) and I'm not hungry for dinner now that I had two snacks.

meh.

Working on a menu for tomorrow now...

I'm Okay

I have been a bad blogger, but I still don't feel comfortable blogging because of certain nosy, irritating people. I haven't had the time or energy to start a new blog or make this one private.

I do miss blogging - hopefully I can update soon on what's going on here.

Until then - MERRY CHRISTMAS!!