Silent

For several days I've felt like I have to be silent.

That I couldn't share things on MY blog, just because someone I know is reading.

You see, this was Bullying Week - and I felt like a adult woman, a former friend was bullying me via Facebook messages.

That's a story (one I'm not sure I'll write about here) for another time though.

I don't have a ton a friends. I've never been the life of the party - but, when I DO make a friend, a GOOD friend, we are usually friends for quite a while. There are only 2 friends in my past that are no longer.

I don't lie to my friends.
I don't make up stories so they will feel sorry for me.
I don't put them down - or their spouse (even when I think their choice of husband is an complete asshole)
I would do anything I could to help them within my power if they need help.
I will always listen.
I will always tell the truth.

However - I don't always THINK before the truth - what I'm feeling - comes out of my mouth.

I had a friend, that I knew since Early elementary school. We were friends even when we lived in different states - letters, phone calls, and online chats. We drove and flew to be with each other. And while we both did things that drove the other absolutely crazy - we could laugh about it.

Once this friend - I'll call her Olive - started having kids (when we were 25) - our relationship changed. She became very "crunchy" (and not a bad thing at all, but she was). She became a very fierce MamaBear.

I loved her kids - they were awesome, and even had a special name they made up just for me (that I loved - I felt like a special Auntie)

Four years ago - Olive asked me to come visit her and teach her about photography. I had started my business a few years before. I didn't have the money to come - so her husband bought me a ticket, and I flew to their state for a 10 day trip to teach her and hang out.

The first 2 days were fun - we ran around and saw things. I played with the kids.
On the 3 rd day - it turned into - oh, watch the baby while I take Kid #1 to school. then I have all of these errands to run. Lather, rinse, repeat. For 5 days. I played with her kids constantly, watched them, fed them snacks and basically acted like a Nanny. We did no photography nor went anywhere. To me, she never played with her kids - just on the computer.

At this time, I was getting mad. I wanted to say to her - what the hell is this? but I couldn't get the words out. I was so frustrated, that I went to the room I was staying in to cry. She came to ask what was wrong/going on - and I said it. Exactly what was on my mind - that she ignores her kids etc etc and I wasn't there to be a babysitter! We had words. It wasn't pretty.

She then tells me I'm kicked out and I have to leave. I have basically 10 min to pack, and get my butt out of there - I have no car, and no where to stay in a city I know nothing about.

(It was a nightmare getting home but not going to write that part out)

When I got home I emailed her and asked if we could work this out - she said no - and her husband wrote to me and said the same thing. I have not tried to contact her or anything since, although I would like to talk to her about it.

Sigh.

So, person who is reading this that I would rather stay out of my business:

I feel harassed. I feel bothered. I feel like I shouldn't have to say to someone - OVER AND OVER again that I do not want to be friends. I do not have to list reasons why - even though I COULD.

 I have no desire to be your friend. I feel lied to and that doesn't sit well with me. Do not contact me, do not message me, do not email me - I am done. I wish you the best but leave me alone - I mean it.

You have plenty of other friends - go lie to them. Even better, tell them that it hurts you if they stay my friend - they can have you.

To everyone else: I do not know the future of this blog and it makes me sad. If you are one of my blog friends and still want to keep up with me, please comment or email me and I'll send you an update. Thank you for reading.