Happy New Year!

(If anyone every reads this, you can see that I edit it throughout the day, then finish it up and republish at night. A weird way to blog, I guess, but it's working for me)

I woke up in my warm snuggly bed (my husband wasn't in it, he was sleeping on the couch because my Stepson is here and he wanted to make sure he could care for him if he woke up. aw) with two of my cats lying on me, purring away. I could see that it was snowing out our bedroom window, and I had enough charge on the ipad to fool around on FB and relax for a little while. It was nice.

I got up and made coffee and breakfast for my husband and Son. They requested...Pop Tarts. Now, I never buy Pop Tarts (even if THEY like them) because I like them (well, the fruit ones)...but we had them in the house so that's what I "made" (toasted?). I threw an inner fit because I CAN'T HAVE POPTARTS! or TOAST (well, I can never have toast, because I don't buy bread) or French Toast. or waffles. or pancakes (all of them get stuck)

sigh. I guess I'll make myself...an egg.

(then I threw another fit because I asked my husband to bathe the kid, and he came out asking me if my Bath and body works lotion was the kid shampoo. what the heck? gah. so it's not even noon on the first day of the year and I yelled at my husband. Great start, Lala. Amazing. not)

We took the kid out to shop for clothes (used ones at the thrift store) because I am tired of buying him clothes, then for some reason or another, he ends up going home in them, and we never get them BACK. So if he doesn't have his own clothes to put on, he will go home in these. and I marked them with our name)

Sigh. I am craving...CRUNCHIES. Sunflower seeds...popcorn...either would do - I broke down and had some popcorn but I still want...crunchies. or  sour candy. I drank 3 bottles of water and had a huge glass of iced tea instead.

Breakfast:
Coffee
Scrambled egg with cheddar cheese
slice of bacon

Lunch:
2 chicken nuggets
9 french fries (yes, I COUNTED)
mango smoothie (small) This took me about 1.5 hours to drink, I didn't really drink it with my food.

Dinner:I was going to have a taco, but I was too lazy to make it. so no dinner.

Snack: popcorn, small slice of cheese
2 squares of chocolate

Weight: 247
Exercise: 20 min of the Wii Just Dance. and I'm pooped out :-(

New year's Eve

Yes. I need a new year. because I am breaking up with 2012.

Crazy day today, my parents are coming over to celebrate the new year. I'm cooking mexican food and drinking mango margaritas and crying.

Fun times!

I was so anxious and upset today I had no appetite.

Breakfast: Coffee

Lunch: well, around 3:30 my stomach started rumbling so I ate some cheese.

Snack: (?) mango margarita!

Dinner: Taco salads
taco meat (beef)
taco bowl made from flour tortilla
lettuce, tomato, cheese, sour cream, salsa, guacamole

I was only able to eat half.

1/2 a piece of Angel food cake with whipped cream
Small amount of popcorn
some chocolate
Some chips and guac

Myfitnesspal says around 1500 calories (but I tracked ALL of the taco salad and didn't eat it all)
Protein: 60
Weight: 247

12/30/12

I had a fun fun morning hangin' with my Banded buddies, having coffee :-) We're planning to go do something active and fun together soon too, so I am excited for that.

Breakfast: Coffee at Starbucks

Lunch: Protein Shake - the same peach/banana/strawberry/spinach one with "Greens and whey" protein powder that I had yesterday (The frozen fruit blend is by Dole - I REALLY like it, but it's kind of spendy. I can get like 4-5 shakes out of 1 bag though. The Greens and Whey Protein powder is by Biochem. I actually really like it, but I have to mix it with fruit)

Snack: 8 peanut butter filled pretzels (we were at my parents house. they have dangerous goodies there!!!)

Dinner: Mom made MEATLOAF (I love her meatloaf)
I had about 2 oz of that
small serving of mashed potatoes
small serving of corn
1/2 of a cresent roll with butter (ohhhhh...yummy. but I can only eat a bite)

1/2 chocolate chip cookie

Right now - 1000 calories
Protein: 51

Not sure if I am going to have anything else today. I'm not hungry right now but I always crave popcorn. We're having my parents and Godson (my friends family can't come after all) for New years so I'm cleaning like a busy bee and planning the menu for tomorrow.

12/29/12

Another day after a NICE sleep. This going to bed at a normal time is feeling awesome. I wonder why I never went to be early before?? haha

The babymama picked up my Stepson, and I took my Godson home (both have been visiting for Christmas vacation) and while I love them to PIECES, it's nice to have a day of quiet. Especially listening to them play Laser Tag (it was a gift from Santa Claus, exactly what they asked for, and it's LOUD. but it's fun. I might have played with it) and have Lightsaber duels.

Today we are going to see "Les Miserables"!! I am stoked!!! (and it was awesome!!)

Food today

Breakfast:
Scrambled egg with ham and cheese - I ate most of it
Coffee

Lunch:
Popcorn at the movies - with butter. yikes!

Snack after movies: slice of cheese
1/4 cup of sunflower seeds (and now I am OUT so I am not buying more)
5 raisins

Dinner: Protein Shake
Dole Pre-cut fruit (Peach, Banana, Strawberry)
Spinach
"Greens and Whey" Protein power (Bio-Chem)
Water

Calories: 1500 (dang popcorn)
Protein: 59

Not more food tonight, I get to have water (and I am out of diet coke, except for the cup that was left over from the movies - not buying any more diet coke either)

Tomorrow I get to clean the house since on New Year's Eve we have my Stepson (Insert Shocked face here) and My parents, Godson and maybe my Bestie and her Husband/kids are coming over. We're making Taco Salads, watching Big Bang Theory (Obsessed. I got seasons 3,4 and 5 for Christmas) and playing board games while the kiddles play in the other room. Fun times!

Menu/what I ate 12/28/12

I started off today in a pretty good mood - I actually went to bed before midnight (that never happens) so I got some good sleep in.

My Godson (staying over for Christmas break) wanted cinnamon rolls for breakfast. then I ate one (BAD LALA!)

I'm feeling good, back to work now (at least computer work) and watching Pitch Perfect over and over because it makes me happy.

Breakfast:Cinnamon Roll and Skim Milk (1 cup)
Two cups of coffee with Caramel macchiato creamer

Snack: 1/4 cup sunflower seeds in shell
4 Starburst jellybeans

Lunch: Shrimp with cocktail sauce (I make it - ketchup, horseradish and lemon juice. I don't like pre-made)

Dinner: well, lunch was at 3pm so I didn't eat dinner.

Snack: light butter popcorn and a slice of pepper jack cheese (trying SO hard not to crave this!)

Calories: 1170
Protein: 41
Sugar: 42 (YIKES! working on that)

Starting over.

It's been almost 1 year since I started this journey (in January of 2011 "officially") and I'm only down 36 lbs.

I'm frustrated.

I am almost never hungry, but then the Grumpy Beast (TM) comes out later in the day, and I become what my darling husband calls "Hulk Smash Angry"

I just don't feel like eating most of the time, and when I do, it's not the best choices.

I've tried to stay High protein, but I couldn't tell you the last time I ate a salad or cooked veggies at home. I do get fruit in my protein shakes.

I thought that cutting out Fast food (simply because it gets STUCK) would help me lose weight. NOPE.

I went back to some comfort foods (due to being in pain from I don't know what - numerous trips to the ER and Doc tell me nothing) - such as Popcorn with butter topping, Graham Crackers with butter, and Sunflower seeds. I can eat all of these things without being "hungry" (I have cut out the graham crackers and it's been almost 6 weeks since I've had them)

I am working on cutting out Sunflower seeds next. I can eat them mindlessly at the computer. This is just...bad.

Popcorn is going to be the hardest. I know, Know - just eat AIR POPPED popcorn, right?? Everyone says that. But we all know it, it's gross that way and it gets stuck without the butter or oil.

and I seem have gotten into a weird habit - finding out that popcorn tastes AAMAZING with a nice big slice of Pepper Jack cheese.

Then then is exercise. One of my doctor thinks I have a small hernia in my groin and that's what causing me pain. I think my fallopian tube is blocked and that's why it hurts, but I am not a Dr. and they didn't think so when I suggested it.

So, it hurts. I don't exercise. Repeat.

I just want it to be easy for me. I know it's not easy for everyone else, but it SEEMS that way, you know?

In other news, even though my weight hasn't changed since October, I was wearing a 22-24 pants in Sept, and now I can just about fit in an size 18 pants. What the heck? I can wear XL shirts. I wish the they did measurements at the Doctors office so I can say SEE?? but they don't care.

Menu Today - horrible. I actually ate more today than I usually do

Breakfast/Lunch
Coffee with Caramel Creamer
Omelet made with 2 eggs (I only finished a little more than 1/2 of the omelet though) and 1/2 oz of Pepperjack cheese
2 slices of bacon

Snack -
1 CUP (serving is 1/4 of a cup!!) of Sunflower seeds in shell

Snack - 1 slice of apple pie (Which I didn't really need to eat because I wasn't hungry, but I made an apple pie for Christmas and brought it over to my parents house and nobody ate ANY of it and I was mad. So I said fine, I'LL HAVE SOME!)

I'm already up to around 1400 calories (I usually try to stick in the 1200 range) and I'm not hungry for dinner now that I had two snacks.

meh.

Working on a menu for tomorrow now...

I'm Okay

I have been a bad blogger, but I still don't feel comfortable blogging because of certain nosy, irritating people. I haven't had the time or energy to start a new blog or make this one private.

I do miss blogging - hopefully I can update soon on what's going on here.

Until then - MERRY CHRISTMAS!!